It lasted a little over a week. A week of frustration, second guessing, and thoughts of giving up and starting a new journey, before I finally snapped out of it and told myself to “suck it up”.
(Above: created by me, for myself)
Let me start by saying that while I have a large presence on social media, I am a relatively private person. Of course, I love to brag about my child, update photos of things that we’re doing, funny things that people said, new business endeavors, or the new dish I created for dinner. However, when it comes to anything that evokes true raw emotional response, I usually keep it to myself.
Most of the time you won’t see me post about politics or the latest things going on in the news cycle. You won’t see me post anything too personal about my relationships, friendships, or personal health (although Easton’s health has been a hot topic lately). And while I am not saying this is the only way it should be, I am saying this is the way I usually handle myself – because to be honest, it’s safe.
Not oversharing keeps me safe from unwelcome criticism, judgement, or vulnerability – and I really value feeling secure. But with that being said, not sharing some of the personal aspects of my life really isn’t that ‘fair’ to people who intently follow my journey either.
I am aware that I post a lot about my business and that the success of my business may make it appear that I am constantly leading this fabulous life, full of exotic destination weddings, five star foods, feature publications, and fancy parties. And while I am blessed to get to do and be a part of those things, I am guilty of not sharing the blood, sweat, and tears that get us there. I am guilty of not sharing my frustrations about the photography industry, my creativity blocks, the jealousy I sometimes have of my softball teammates that I can’t make it to a lot of Saturday tournaments. or the times I have literally been in tears because I have so much on my plate.
I always want my clients to know that I can handle myself, regardless of what I have going on. I always try to portray myself as this strong, independent, jack-of-all trades woman, so my clients have complete trust and confidence in their decision to hire me – so this is the image I push on social media, and while it’s not necessarily a lie – it isn’t the entire truth, either.
So, back to last week. I broke down. I almost believe I was having a midlife crisis or something (hopefully not, seeing as I am only 32). However, I am going to share something that I normally wouldn’t, something that probably may even upset some of those who I know will read this (if the shoe fits). In the photography industry there are so many of us, that you really have to constantly work and brainstorm new ideas to set yourself apart from the hundreds of others that are trying their hand in this profession. Therefore, lately I have been working extra hard on doing just that, being unique and setting myself apart. And on numerous occasions, as of late, I will announce a new idea, implement a new promotion, add a new service to my business – only to have it recreated by someone else (and a lot of times locally even) the same week. I put so much time, thought, and money into these ideas and when someone takes the hard work I put in and uses it for themselves, it’s hard – I’m not even going to pretend it’s not. No matter where you are as an entrepreneur (it doesn’t even have to be in the photography industry) this is hard. Usually I chalk it up to the old phrase “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery”, but as it happened more and more, I really wasn’t even close to being flattered any more.
So that is when the meltdown ensued, I started looking online at going back to school. I have a bachelors degree … Maybe I should get my masters? Maybe I should try a new entrepreneur endeavor? Maybe something where I don’t work on the weekends? Maybe if they actually start paying teachers what they deserve I will start working with my husband? For almost a week I tried to find something that I would be happy doing, but if I was being honest with myself – I am not going to find anything that fits me better than what I do already. It took a week of me giving up, before I told myself to just ‘suck it up’ and work harder.
Yes, there are going to be people that rip you off at every corner, there are going to be people who want your life and will do everything they can to take the things you have earned, but that should fuel us as motivation and determination – not complete devastation, as I was letting it fuel me. We do not get to choose our circumstances, but we can choose how we react to them and conduct ourselves. And if there is anything I have learned from all of is it is two things:
1. If people are trying to do what you do, like you do it, with the people you do it for/with – then you’re clearly doing it right.
2. And if there is one thing that I have that no one can ever create, it is me! So why not be more transparent about the triumphs and the struggles? Why not show more of who I am and what it brings to my business? I am what will always set myself apart.
So if you read this entire blog, kudos to you! I am sure it will have mixed reactions, and that’s okay – because this is who I am. Sometimes I struggle, just like everyone else and I think it is good for people to see the non-perfect Jasmine every now and then too <3
xoxo,
Jasmine
Leave a Reply