Why 2016 Was a Tough Year // Personal Blog

(Photo Credit – The Oberports)

To be honest I have started to write this blog quite a few times and couldn’t find the words, or even decide what to share. Usually I do a year end blog, with goals for the new year and gush about the amazing year that just passed through, but the truth is I was struggling to feel inspired when so much happened in 2016 that overshadowed all the amazing things, in a lot of ways.

So, here I am almost two weeks into the New Year, writing this blog, still unsure as to what it is I am about to share. So let’s start with the amazing:

In 2016 business news we …

had the most weddings that we’ve had out of any year thus far. rebranded our website in January, and love it! were published over 100 times in various blogs, magazines, and wedding related publications (including some REALLY BIG ONES). were Concord Magazine’s Featured Entrepreneur.hired an amazing new editor to help with editing workflow in order to free up some of my time to shoot more.shot an incredible destination wedding in New Orleans, and fell in love with a new city.shot an engagement session at The Biltmore (one of my dream wedding locations). shot a cruise wedding in St. Thomas, another bucket-list item, marked off our list! shot over 150 different sessions/weddings.changed our business name from Jasmine Rose Photography, to Jasmine White Photography.

… and I am sure there is a lot that I am forgetting to mention (Im writing this as a sick toddler tries to play with my keyboard). But for JWP 2016 was nothing short of amazing!

While 2016 was undeniably the best year of business we’ve ever had, it was also a year of personal struggles and triumphs. This is the part of the blog that I have wrestled with as to what to share with the world, and what to keep private. I have told myself that my struggles may shed light and hope to others in similar situations, but in the back of my mind there is always the idea of my personal struggles being my own and showing any form of weakness or failure terrifies me.

So bare with me while I try to find a happy medium, this is where it gets uncomfortable for me.

This past year I learned a lot about myself, some good, some not so much. I’ve learned that I am a little too quick to jump into friendships/relationships, which is something I used to think was a positive thing about me. I learned that I go ‘all in’ on friendships, really quickly, before doing my homework on people, stepping back and watching/learning about them, and this caused a lot of heartache for me in 2016. I ignored red flags about people because I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt, and my naive concept that because someone calls you their friend that they have your best interest in mind was crushed MULTIPLE times, and my self-esteem and trust in people really took a hard hit in 2016. However, other people are not where I am placing all the blame, as I made a lot of bad decisions that lead to certain ‘friendships’ being at the forefront of my life to begin with. This was hard to come to terms with this year.

But more than friendships that were shattered, 2016 was a tough season for Jason and I, as well. Without going into too much detail and speaking in general terms, marriage was hard this year. In April Jason and I will have been married for 5 years … and year 4 was hard for us in so many ways. We got to a point where we started making individual decisions, rather than together decisions and it really put a strain on our lives (that is putting it mildly). I know that everyone has hard times in their relationships, but this was my biggest failure in 2016 – because it could’ve been prevented, we both could’ve done better. While we know this now and things are nothing short of amazing with us now, it doesn’t change the fact that 2016 was a tough season for our marriage – and I am not sure this is something married people ever really talk about?

On social media you always see couples raving about one another, when behind closed doors you never really know their struggles – and while I agree marriage is something to be kept between spouses, it also makes people who do have a tough season feel super alone, and potentially one of the reason people think divorce is the right option … we all think everyone else is ALWAYS happy and we want to find that, right? Well, let me burst the perfect social media marriage persona bubble … Marriage is hard y’all. There will be hard seasons, you’re not alone. When people find out that Jason and I had a rough year, they’re always like “OMG, but you two always look so happy and so in love” … and they’re mostly right in that statement. But while we are very much in love, happiness is a choice you make every day, and there were times this year that we failed miserably to make that choice together.

With all this being said, things are wonderful now … but it was hard work getting back to that, and every day it’s hard work, but it’s worth it, so worth it. So if you’re struggling right now in your relationships, friendships, or marriages, please know that you are NOT ALONE … it happens to the best of us, even to those of us who are crazy in love – but getting through that together is a choice you have to make every single day, and sometimes it’s not an easy task, but no one ever said it would be easy, but if you love someone enough it will be worth it.

As someone who struggles with extreme anxiety, sharing this much about my personal struggles in 2016 was difficult for me, so please be kind, it is not easy to share heartache – but it’s something that needs to be done from time to time, people need to know there is a real human being, with real struggles, triumphs, relationships, behind all the pretty photos, publication announcements, and wonderful clients …

So with all of this being shared … my personal goal for 2017 is to choose happiness and be intentional in my friendships and relationships this year and to put in the work, even when it’s emotionally uncomfortable. I have also made a huge effort to remove things from my life that do not bring happiness, and while I am still working on both of these goals daily, doing this has been really helpful.

If you’re still reading this, wow – thanks! I am looking forward to 2017 being another amazing year for Jasmine White Photography, as well as, a much more intentional year for me in my personal life and relationships.

xoxo,

Jasmine